If someone’s house got broken into, would you blame the robber or the person who was robbed? The robber, right? So why do we as a society tend to blame the victim and not the perpetrator? Most people have victim-blamed someone before, regardless of who they are or what they’ve done. Women, in particular, experience high rates of sexual assault and rape through no fault of their own. So let us collectively stop victim blaming her because of the way she presents herself, how hard she fought to stop it, and for previous yesses since they are not reasons or excuses for you to rape her.   

Many people in society say that it’s her fault because of the way she dresses. NEWS FLASH—clothes are meant for people to wear them. No one wakes up in the morning and says, “I feel like being raped today, so maybe I’ll wear a crop top.” Another excuse people throw around is that she was acting flirty and supposedly “asking for it.” Are we expected to be robots with no human feelings? Humans have emotions ingrained within them, and it’s not very controllable either. So when she’s being bubbly and smiley around you, it’s not because she wants to be raped: it’s because she’s human!

Shock. Another HUMAN emotion that we feel. When she was being assaulted, she couldn’t think or move and felt disconnected from the world around her. Wouldn’t you be shocked if a car was headed for you as you crossed the road? Yeah, right? So don’t expect people to act differently if you couldn’t yourself. Do you know what else is not her fault? Going outside—oh, but she shouldn’t be out that late—or going to a party—but it was her fault for going! Society needs to understand that there is no excusable time for rape, and the only time is NEVER. Why are we viewed like cats who stay inside and never leave our homes? Even cats get better treatment than us at this point. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, PEOPLE. Time, place, and being in shock doesn’t mean yes.

Do you know what else doesn’t mean “yes”? If she said it a week ago, a day ago, or even an hour ago. Can you guess why? Because of another human ability called adapting, also known as changing her mind. Numerous people say, “She said yes last time.” But that doesn’t mean she wants it this time or at any other time. Haven’t you changed your mind before? It can be something small like asking the waiter for apple juice instead of your regular orange juice, and everyone is fine and respects that. But when she changes her mind, her choice isn’t respected? What type of world are we living in? I’ll tell you. A world where you should ask for consent EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 

There is no reason why her actions, looks, and feelings are excuses to rape her. All you need to do is keep your ears open, and listen to her. If she says yes up until the point of intercourse, then have fun. But if not, then it’s a no, and don’t try to coerce her. So, let’s hold assaulters accountable for what they’ve done, stop making excuses, and put an end to victim-blaming. 

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